


The Thing with Feathers

by lover_of_many_things



Series: And—never—in Extremity, it asked a crumb of me [1]
Category: Booksmart (2019)
Genre: F/F, Hope is gay for Amy and doesn't know how to deal with it, Hope's POV, Until she does
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 09:13:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19059634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lover_of_many_things/pseuds/lover_of_many_things
Summary: Hope isn't good with dealing with her feelings and everything seems to come to a head on the last day of senior year. Booksmart from Hope's POV.





	The Thing with Feathers

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically my long head canon of what Hope is thinking and why she acts the way she does throughout the movie. I might continue this and follow the two of them further if that is something people are interested in. Let me know and enjoy!
> 
> 6/3: I edited it a bit since I wrote most of this fic while I was travelling on 0 hours of sleep over two days.

Hope’s not good with feelings; she can admit that to herself. People can only think you are and call you a bitch for so long because you’re pretty before you become one. And yes—she knows she’s pretty. It’s not even a conceit thing, it’s just a known fact of her life. She’s pretty and she’s a bitch. At least those are the things her classmates have thought of her since middle school. She hasn’t cared enough in the past five years or so to correct them; too focused on just making it through to eighteen so she can leave this town and finally see the world like she’s always wanted. That’s another reason why it’s easier being a bitch—no one close enough to feel sorry about leaving behind.

Except there’s one flaw in her seamless plan to just finish out high school and leave for the summer before heading right off to school. She actually isn’t heartless and may have feelings...that she has absolutely no idea what to do with. Okay. That’s a lie. She’s had feelings for a while that she still has absolutely no idea what to do with.

Hope is fairly secure in her sexuality. Not many people know she’s a lesbian, but that’s just because not many people cared enough to ask—not because she’s ashamed at all. One of the only people that actually knows is Gigi, and that’s simply because that girl has a habit of being everywhere and knowing everything without ever being told. She is definitely weird but Hope doesn’t mind her company when she is around if not only just because of how entertaining she could be. Gigi somehow found out only a few weeks after Hope had come out to her family in Freshman year. She had just appeared at Hope’s locker side as she closed the door one day and said something along the lines of, “Y’know, I was a lesbian in a past life...so far undetermined in this one” before seemingly disappearing within the crowd before Hope could react. Not that she would. 

Either way, Gigi isn’t her problem. No, her problem is Amy. Goody two-shoes, class president sidekick, meek as a meerkat Amy. Hope had been paying attention to Amy since they were kids in elementary school—always watching and never really interacting since there was no way she could penetrate the bubble that she and Molly live within, no one could. She watched as Amy followed Molly around on the playground, playing what she wanted to play, as always. She watched as Amy was roped in to being in mock trial in middle school instead of choir. She watched and watched until one day in eighth grade she realized why she was watching. She tried to stop paying attention. Tried not to care. Tried to ignore her heart rate increasing every time Amy brushed past her in the halls. Which is why, when one day Amy accidentally collided with her in the hallway she said what she said.

Even in eighth grade Hope was already above average height, towering over most of the people in the school, so she was completely fine after the collision though Amy had dropped the books she was holding. Determined not to care, Hope scoffed lightly at Amy, bent over to pick up her books with Molly helping her—the two really never separated. 

“Watch where you’re going next time, idiot.” 

Amy didn’t even look up when Hope walked past her, stepping on one of the strewn papers, but Molly certainly did. She jumped up immediately, calling out a retort that Hope didn’t care enough to listen to, sticking  her middle finger up as she continued walking away. 

Thus started her transition from just watching to passively antagonizing. Again—really not good with feelings. Hope continued watching, but whenever Amy stumbled or dropped something she had a comment ready under her breath that Amy could possibly, probably, most definitely hear. 

This continued on until the 10th grade—when Amy came out. For the briefest moments when she had deciphered the news from Gigi (of course), Hope had allowed herself to, well, hope. Amy could like her back, she was a viable option now. For a few days she went back to just watching, looking for a sign of anything really when they passed each other in the hall or sat in class. During her surveying Hope only found one thing, and that was that Amy seemingly only had eyes for Ryan, that tatted skater chick. Feeling her heart drop down to her stomach at the sight of Amy sighing over Ryan at lunch with Molly, Hope pushed those feelings right back down and moved onto active antagonization. 

She couldn’t just stop watching Amy, but now whenever their gazes met she had a quip or nitpick ready to shoot off at her as if it somehow explained why she stared at Amy more than she did anyone else. The comments became like vitamins to Hope; at least one a day to stamp those feelings further down—not recommended by any doctor. And it helped. Kinda. For a little bit. 

Hope continued to watch Amy pine after Ryan as she pined after her and continued throwing comments whenever she could. She was handling it—really, she was—at least, until senior year. She used to be so excited, well, excited as she can get about senior year. The year where she could just coast on through until graduation and then she’d leave and finally see the world, but as the year went on she found that she wasn’t looking forward to graduation as much as she wanted to be. She knew why, but she would never admit it to herself. No, Gigi did that for her. 

Hope was at her locker one day, switching out her books between classes when Gigi appeared behind her and startled as much as Hope allowed herself to startle. 

“You should really tell her, y’know. Only a couple months left.” 

Hope rolled her eyes, used to Gigi’s incoherence. “Tell who what, Gigi?” 

Gigi slowly walked her fingers up Hope’s arm as she spoke. “You looooove her.” Hope batted Gigi’s hand away, but she just moved it to play with the tassels on Hope’s jacket. 

“Yeah, now I really think you’re crazy.”

Gigi leaned in far too close for Hope’s comfort, not that she would show that, and whispered in her ear. “I’m as crazy as you are a bitch.” With that she yelled for Jared and immediately went into a trust fall that Jared could just barely catch her in before dragging her down the hallway. Hope thought that Gigi was maybe slightly more crazy than she was a bitch. 

She went through the rest of her day without a hitch, not really thinking of her interaction with Gigi until she got to her English class and walked past Amy, sitting in the front row.  _ Shit _ . Gigi’s words came crashing back onto her as she sat down, staring at the back of Amy’s head. She was in love with Amy. She was in love with the meek, small, adorable, funny—these adjectives were getting away from her. She shook her head. Well, that had certainly backtracked her progress of stamping down on her feelings. Sure, she could find Amy attractive but to actually like her? She couldn’t. She couldn’t be in love with Molly’s sidekick bitch...could she? Before Hope knew it, the bell was ringing and people were gathering their things as Ms. Fine was shouting out a last few key points that only Molly and Amy bothered writing down. She quickly gathered her things and left without a word; she had some things to think about.

And think about them she did. For months. Hope turned over every interaction in her head, watching Amy as she stupidly joked around with Molly and registered how cute she found it. She also registered the slight twinge in her chest whenever she saw Amy looking at or talking to Ryan. Those interactions were the ones that fueled the mean comments. She knew it wasn’t nice but hey, she was a bitch and it was self-preservation at this point. 

Which brings us to today. The last day of her high school career. She really is ready to be done with school, but there’s just this niggling thought in the back of her mind that she might regret leaving without ever trying anything with Amy. She strolls into class as the bell rings and takes a seat, noting Amy and Molly standing up at Ms. Fine’s desk. It isn’t an unusual occurrence, especially with it being the last day; they're probably just kissing ass one more time. That is, until they take their phones out. Amy and Molly never took their phones out in class and many people readily calle them out on it. 

Ms. Fine quickly diffuses the situation as best she can with seniors on their last day of high school, lacking any shits, and sends Molly and Amy to sit down. Hope leans forward in her desk towards as soon as Amy sits down. “Hey Amy?”

Amy turns around, seemingly surprised at someone else other than Molly addressing her. “Yeah?”

“Did you just score your teacher’s phone number?” Amy nods with a laugh and a cute fraction of a smile on her face.

“Yeah”

“Nice.” Hope says it with just the right amount of sneer and disapproval that Amy’s face drops and she leans back in her chair. Figures Amy would ask for the teacher’s number before she would ever think to ask for Hope’s. She’s entirely ready to just read her book all period until Jared walks in talking about everyone wearing shirts with his face on it and she just has to shut that down immediately. Then the theatre kids go up to the front of the class to make some announcement and Hope promptly tunes out, content to sit, read her book, and stew in her thoughts.

Once class is done, Hope packs up her things and calmly walks out of the room amongst her rowdy class mates. Her next period is a free period and then it’s lunch, so she decides to find a nice spot outside to read at. She picks her usual semi-shaded spot under a tree and sits against it, bringing one knee up to hold the book against but letting her other leg stretch out. Her free period goes by pretty uneventfully in the real world, but her book keeps her riveted. However, once she hears the bell she dog-ears her page and sets the book aside, knowing the rush of students outside would disrupt any reading she could want to get done. Sure enough, as soon as she puts her book aside and reached into her bag for the apple she packed today the doors of the school slam open and her peers flood the school yard. 

She surveys the schoolyard as she bites into her apple, looking at the classmates that she will probably never see again after the summer until her eyes land on—of course—Amy, who is looking at— _ of course _ —Ryan. She rolls her eyes and takes another bite of her apple. Molly and Amy are talking to themselves and Molly makes, was that a scissoring gesture? With her hands. Suddenly Amy stands and starts walking over toward Ryan, Hope raises an eyebrow in  surprise and a bit in anticipation. 

Hope watches the interaction as she finishes off her apple and almost chokes with laughter as she watches Amy slowly and awkwardly walk away holding up a peace sign. What an adorable train wreck. Seeing Amy return to her table with Molly and looking at her phone to see the time, Hope gathers her things and heads inside while there is still some time left in lunch so she doesn’t have to deal with maneuvering through the crowded halls. She makes it to her locker, opening it and hanging her favorite jacket inside now a bit warm from being outside for so long. A couple of minutes later the halls started to fill with other students heading to their lockers, a gentle buzz in the air of anticipation for the half-day to finally come to an end and summer to start. She starts to grab her things from her locker and put them in her bag, ready to never have to come back to this place.

Hope expects some rowdiness, it is the last day of school after all, but she doesn’t expect Molly running out of the gender neutral bathroom that Amy pushed for for years, demanding to know where people are going to school. When Molly runs up to her she answers before Molly can even get all of her words out since she usually only listened to Molly when Amy was around.

“Yeah, no. I don’t care about...whatever is happening here.” She waves her hand, trying to shoo Molly away and she rolls her eyes before moving on to the next person. Hope finishes gathering her things just in time for the final bell to ring. Everyone around her bursts out into screams of celebration at having made it through the year, having made it through high school. Confetti and silly string are thrown into the air and condoms are filled and used as water balloons down the hall. Hope nearly barks out in laughter as she sees one of the condoms nail Molly right in the face soaking her. 

Hiking her bag over her shoulder she strolls down the main hallway, gladly taking a condom water balloon to the face, running a hand through her newly wet hair with a smile. She passes Amy on her way out, slack-jawed and rushing to Molly’s side and throws a wave over her shoulder at Nick who tells her to come to his party tonight. It’s supposed to be pretty huge and she has nothing else to do, so she might as well make an appearance and get some free weed and alcohol. It’ll be a nice farewell before graduation to high school and the people she’s sort of tolerated her whole life. 

Hope gets home and relaxes for a few hours, just reading in her room, before heading out to the party. By the time she walks into the house, the party is already in full swing; people are doing keg stands, body shots, and jumping into the pool in various stages of undress. She does a couple laps of the party, having a few drinks, and bumming a few hits and even an entire joint that she adds to her collection in her pocket. Once she’s done a few laps she settles into a corner and does what she does best: people watch. And man, are her classmates fun people to watch.

She’s actually having a pretty nice time at the party as the night continues on. She still sticks to herself, but the vibe of the party itself and the energy of the people around her is enough to enjoy the night. She’s not sure how long she’s been at the party when she sees Molly and Amy walk through the door. It’s probably the biggest shocker of the night and she saw someone nakedly backflip into the pool earlier completely unprompted.  Amy is wearing a cute blue sequin dress and it’s not something she’d usually wear, but Hope thinks she looks fantastic. 

Hope is once again surprised when she sees Molly and Amy separate, an almost unheard of occurrence. Hope watches as Amy wanders through the crowd and she takes a large gulp of her drink and a deep breath before walking towards Amy, determined to talk to her at least once before she would probably never see her again. However, she only gets three steps before she sees Amy walk up to Ryan and start flirting with her—well, starts Amy’s version of flirting with her. Hope comes to an immediate stop, her good mood souring. 

She quickly finishes her drink and walks off to the bathroom, cutting in line despite the protests and locking the door behind her. Putting the lid down, she sits on the toilet and takes one of the joints in her pocket. She immediately lights the joint and starts smoking, ignoring the shouting and pounding on the door from outside. News must travel quickly about who exactly it is that commandeered the bathroom and soon enough the knocks and yelling stop. 

Hope gets through a joint and a half before she hears a commotion outside of the room. Curious, she gets up and pops the door open, peeking her head out. She sees everyone walking towards the living room and hears a couple people yelling. Wait no, not just any two people yelling. She hears Molly and Amy yelling. At each other. That is entirely unheard of. Hope can’t really hear what they’re saying, but they definitely sound angry.

It seems as soon as the yelling starts, it stops, and people rush back down the hall to make it look like they weren’t just watching the two best friends have a very loud scream fight in the middle of a party. Hope retreats back into the bathroom, this time foregoing the lock—just in case, her heart says—before sitting back down on the toilet and relighting her joint. She sits in silence for only a few moments before the bathroom door opens and a soaking wet and crying Amy stumbles in, standing in front of the sink for a moment, catching her breath. 

“What the fuck?...I locked that.” 

Amy looks at Hope over her shoulder, then back at the door before bracing herself on the sink. “Well, I guess you didn’t.” Her voice almost cracks with emotion and Hope just continues to watch her.

“What’s wrong with you? Fight with your wife?” Hope takes a drag of the joint. She slightly surprised as Amy snaps back almost immediately.

“Can you please just...leave me alone.” Amy struggles to get the words out and well, Hope has never really been good at leaving well enough alone.

“Why are you even at a party? Shouldn’t you be like marching in some meaningless protest somewhere...or, I don’t know, in your bed doing homework?”

Amy almost lets out a chuckle. “You don’t even know me.”

Hope just tilts her head, her mind filling with everything that she’s noticed about Amy over the years. “Pretty sure I do.”

“No,” Amy interrupts before Hope can continue, “you’re just one of those people who claims that they’re honest or calling people on their shit when really you’re just mean.” Amy finally turns to look at Hope over her shoulder, and Hope, never one to back down from a confrontation, stands and stalks over to Amy feeling the emotions she’s pushed down for so long bubbling to the surface.

“Wow...no, I take it back. You, are a badass, who takes no prisoners. And cries, in the bathroom at parties.” Hope leans into Amy’s personal space to finish her delivery before stepping back and leaning against the wall with her hand. Amy turns to continue facing Hope.

“Why are you so cruel?”

Hope almost laughs at that, but narrows her eyes slightly instead. “I just don’t like meek people and you,” she looks Amy up and down, “you’re like Molly’s little sidekick bitch.” That seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back as Amy fires back more aggressive than Hope has ever seen the girl.

“Well you’re just a basic hot girl, who’s going to peak in high school.” A couple of thoughts fill Hope’s mind in that moment, mainly: Amy thinks she’s hot and holy shit, Amy is hot when she stands up for herself. Her eyes widen a bit at the thoughts and she takes in Amy in that moment, raw, emotional, angry...and beautiful. 

She and Amy stay in this bubble for a moment, as the air leaves the room and the tension between them grows. The moment seems to linger before it bursts entirely and Amy is surging up to forcefully meet Hope’s lips. It’s clumsy and it’s filled with force but her lips are so soft, and then Hope is pulling away so that she can reassess. Amy the overachiever, Amy in love with Ryan, Amy the long time crush just kissed her. Hope breathes out a laugh and smiles at Amy, who seems just as surprised by her own actions for a moment before she’s leaning back in and Hope is leaning down to meet her.

Holy shit. This is actually happening. Hope is kissing Amy, and God, does it feel good. Hope helps Amy shrug off her favorite jacket as her hands slide up her shoulder and down her arms, pushing the jacket with it. They both slowly lower down to the floor, not separating their lips for a single moment until Hope feels Amy’s hands slip under her shirt and slide up her stomach. They pull away from each other just to slide Hope’s shirt up and over her head, tossing it aside like her jacket.

Hope smiles as she watches Amy take her in with a half whispered,  _ Woah _ . Feeling a little giddy Hope connects their lips again, but then Amy falls a bit to the side with a hum. Hope pulls back immediately, her voice soft and betraying her real feelings as she speaks. “Are you okay?”

Amy pushes a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah, sorry. I just got a little dizzy for a second there.” Hope, seeing just how nervous Amy really is now that the heat of the arguing has worn off, looks at Amy with more care in her eyes than she’d like to admit.

“We can stop, if you want.” 

“No,” Amy replies almost immediately, “no, we’re not stopping”

They both give a gentle laugh as Hope once again settles down onto the bathroom floor. It’s as Amy starts to tug off her jeans that she realizes she really is about to sleep with her unrequited crush on Nick’s Aunt’s bathroom floor. Life really does throw you some curveballs sometimes.

Amy only gets her pants off so far before she realizes Hope still has her converse on and moves to get rid of that obstacle. Hope pillows her arm behind her head to watch as Amy adorably struggles with the shoes and then tugging her tight skinny jeans from her legs. Once she finally tugs them free, it’s with enough force to send her falling backwards into the floor. Hope pops her head up as Amy falls backwards laughing as she asks if she’s okay. Amy laughs too and crawls back over before reaching up and tugging down Hope’s underwear.

Like she said—Hope knows she’s hot. It’s just a fact of her life. But watching as Amy takes in her half-naked form for the first time?  Anyone would be a bit nervous. She runs her hand through her hair and lets out a breathy laugh as she waits for any kind of reaction from Amy beyond staring, though staring really isn’t too bad and watching Amy obviously enjoy what she is seeing is kind of doing it for Hope. 

After a moment and a shuddered breath, Amy finally breaks the silence. “I should probably take mine off too.” Hope could do nothing but enthusiastically nod and offer encouragement in the most eloquent way she could at the moment.

“Yeah.” Amy nods resolutely and starts to take her dress off. Hope gets a better view of the act by resting her hands behind her head, and it’s a view that she certainly enjoys. Her eyes roam up and down Amy’s body repeatedly and Amy brings the dress up over her head, but she feels awkward in the silence as she watches Amy strip so she blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

“That’s a nice dress.”

“It’s all she had,” comes Amy’s muffled reply from among the fabric of the dress, speaking again when her head is finally free, “Ms. Fine.”

Hope immediately breaks out into laughter, thinking about her jab to Amy earlier today, “Of course.” Amy joins in on her laughter before lowering herself down on top of Hope, rejoining their lips.

Hope decides she  _ really _ likes kissing Amy. And it is definitely something she wants to continue doing. So far this thing with Amy has been a bit messy and fumbling, but it’s fun and cute and Hope has loved every second, so she really can’t predict how poorly it could go wrong. 

They’re kissing and Hope feels as Amy slips her hand down her stomach, the knot in her stomach tightening in anticipation as Amy’s hand goes lower and lower and lower and  _ oh! _ lower. The sensation itself doesn’t feel bad per se, just very unexpectedly and Hope maybe kind of pauses a bit to get used to the feeling. Amy, noticing her hesitation pauses as well. “Um...h-how is that for you?”

Hope doesn’t want to embarrass Amy any further, especially not if that means that they stop whatever this is so she hums out a reply. “Um...it’s okay.” Amy continues on with another round of questions instead on continuing on and Hope can’t stand to answer them if hands and appendages remain where they are so she interrupts Amy as gently as she can. “Um- I don’t think that’s the hole you think it is.”

As predicted Amy immediately starts freaking out as Hope tries to mollify her. Amy then starts talking about angles and geometry and Hope can’t help but laugh at the adorable neediness of the statement. “Seriously, don’t worry about it.” Amy apologizes again so Hope is no longer worried about her running away and starts to settle back down, thinking the worst has passed and ready to give it all another go. 

Which is why she’s terribly shocked in the next moments when she’s covered in vomit. She doesn’t really process everything that she says rather than a lot of expletives and a lot of ‘get out’s. Then she’s in the shower and the door is slamming shut. “Fuck!” She yells out as she quickly washes the vomit off of herself. Well now Amy will definitely never want to see her again after that disaster. After the initial shock and proceeding anger at the situation fades, which it does quite quickly, she just hangs her head, letting the water fall onto the back of her neck taking a few deep breaths. And if some tears come out with the deep breaths well then the water is just dripping down from her face at a weird angle. After a few more minutes she shuts off the shower and slips her clothes back on. She pauses at the extra pair of underwear on the floor, immediately knowing who they belong to, and picks them up, slipping them into her jean pocket. She runs a hand through her hair, shaking out some of the moisture on its way through for good measure before slipping on her jacket and leaving the bathroom, heading straight to the front door. 

She quickly finds a ride home and slips into bed, really fucking ready to graduate tomorrow and leave this place behind.

—————

Hope wakes up to having her phone full of notifications. She wipes her eyes blearily as she flips through them. Cops came to stop the party. Yadda yadda yadda. Amy saved everyone else from getting caught. Yadda yadda—wait. Hope goes back to the last notification and watches a video that seems to have been taken from a bush of Amy getting put into the back of a police car. Hope can’t help but laugh as Amy is put in the back, nervously running her mouth as she has the tendency to do.

Hope sighs and drops her phone to her chest, deciding then and there that she’ll talk to Amy today after graduation to see if anything could be salvaged from the wreck of last night. Checking the time, Hope rolls out of bed and gets ready for the ceremony. 

——-----------

By the time everyone is told to sit down in their seats by the principal, neither Molly nor Amy are present. Everyone is talking about how Amy is in jail and how unusual it is for Molly to be late—especially to graduation. The principal starts the ceremony anyway and Gigi starts up the piano as Jared gets on stage and starts to read Molly’s valedictorian speech. 

He only gets a few lines in before a distant revving is heard and a car—Jared’s car to be exact—smashes through the fences and swerves across the track and field before finally coming to a stop. Her peers start to cheer but all Hope can focus on is Amy getting out of the driver’s seat and running up into the stage with Molly. That—had been extremely hot and Hope has to check to make sure she isn’t slack jawed or anything. Molly grabs Amy’s hand and raises it above their heads, causing a loud cheer among the students that Hope even joins in with, clapping and laughing at the display.

Amy sits down at her chair and before Hope knows it they’ve graduated. She is no longer a high school student and is finally free. Amy is whisked away before Hope can pull her aside to talk, but Gigi pops up, hugging her around the shoulders and taking a deep breath and possibly a taste of her hair. “There’s still time. Also avoid the Rio Grande in your travels, I think you might drown there.” 

Hope can’t do anything other than laugh and make a mental note about the Rio Grande; Gigi might be certifiable but she also had very good intuition and Hope isn’t sure she’s willing to take that chance just to see a river. As soon as Gigi appears she is gone, as per usual, and Hope goes over to her family ready to head home.

She sticks around home long enough for her parents to congratulate her and have a celebratory meal, but as soon as she finishes eating she excuses herself. She grabs a plastic bag from her mom’s bag of bags and goes to her room, placing in the underwear that Amy had forgotten the night before. 

With a call out to her parents that she’ll be back soon, Hope leaves her house and starts walking to where she knows Amy lives, swinging the bag and it’s contents at her side. She could drive but it’s only a fifteen minute walk, and Hope enjoys the fresh air and time to think. Today she has a lot to think about so it seems like she’s approaching Amy’s house in no time at all. She stands nervously on the front step for a moment, shifting from foot to foot before shaking the nervousness off and knocking on the door. 

It’s opened a few seconds later by a man Hope now recognizes as Amy’s father from graduation. “Hi, can I help you?”

“Um, yeah- hi. I have something for Amy. I’m one of her classmates.” Hope shakes the bag a little as she speaks. 

“Oh! Well isn’t that nice. I’ll go get her. Unless, do you want to come in? She’s just packing for her trip with Molly and her mother.”  Right. Botswana. Hope rubs at her jean pocket, extremely aware of what she had put inside it right before she left home. This is definitely not a conversation she wants to have with Molly.

“No, thank you. I’ll just wait out here if that’s okay.”

“Absolutely, I’ll go get her” Amy’s dad smiles and closes the door. Hope takes a deep breath and steps away from the door, moving to lean back against the side of the house right by a window which, peeking in for a second, she can see it’s definitely Amy’s room. She looks up at the sky, both finding it calming and using it as time to collect her thoughts.

A couple of minutes later, Amy slips out from behind the door, looking entirely the part of a lesbian, and gently shuts it behind her.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Amy slowly approaches where Hope is leaning. Hope holds up the bag between them saying the line she practiced on the walk over.

“I figured I’d bring back your clothes.” Amy takes the bag and Hope holds back a smile when their fingers brush.

“Thanks so much. I don’t- I don’t usually leave my underwear in places that...aren’t my room.” Hope can’t help but smile at the awkwardness of the situation and how adorable Amy is. Hope pretends that she doesn’t notice Molly freaking out at the window behind her and instead listens as Amy keeps talking. “So how-um...ar-are you okay?”

Of course Amy is still worried about that, Hope thought as much would happen, especially given her reaction last night. She shrugs nonchalantly as if nothing happened at all. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she gives Amy a look up and down, “are  _ you _ okay?”

“Yeah,” Amy looks around at just about everything except Hope, “uh...Y’know. Prison kind of changes you.” It isn’t until Hope, playing along, nods seriously with a hum of affirmation that Amy finally looks at her with a smile and laugh. “But, uh, I’m fine...sorry, I just really don’t know what I’m doing with all that stuff yet.”

Hope suddenly more bashful than she’s used to being looks at the floor, not wanting to admit just how much she enjoyed last night. “Well, for someone who has no idea what they’re doing, you kinda know what you’re doing.” She punctuates the statement by looking Amy in the eyes and raising her eyebrows, hoping that she’ll make the connection. She smiles as she can see what she said register on Amy’s face.

“That’s...” Amy shakes her head, “ah—um that’s cool.” Hope laughs, finding her so cute  as she fumbles over her words. “So. How-how’s your summer going?”

Hope furrows her brow humorously; they literally just graduated a few hours ago. Amy, obviously realizing her mistake continues talking. “I mean, what are you doing for-for the summer time?” 

Hope breaks out into a gentle smile, not able to keep up a judgmental facade for any longer than necessary around Amy anymore. Not after last night. “I think I’m gonna backpack around for a bit.”

“Really?” And Hope can’t help but think that Amy sounds a bit hopeful. She nods.

“Yeah.”

“Where?” That is certainly a question the Hope has herself. She’s more of a let the journey unfold itself kind of gal. She laughs and shrugs.

“I don’t know, honestly anywhere I can find a couch to crash on. I just—Y’know I just wanna see some stuff before college.”

“That’s really cool—that’s, me too, that’s why I’m taking a gap year”

“Yeah?” Hope questions as she slips her fingers into her pocket, grabbing the slip of paper.

“Yeah.”

“Alright. Well, uh...have fun, nerd.” She pulls out the piece of paper and extends it out towards Amy. She could have just asked Amy for her phone and typed in her number but Hope has a thing for physical things; the paper and pen. Nothing beats it. Plus, she thinks it’s kind of more romantic and a classic move. 

Amy just stares at her extended hand for a moment and Hope doesn’t want to actually ask Amy to take her number since that would be kind of sad—even though she totally would and hates that she knows that. She raises her eyebrows and flicks the piece of paper out at Amy again. Amy finally takes the piece of paper with her number on it and a little message about how she better message her since they had unfinished business to attend to. 

Hope longs to touch her fingers to Amy’s and maybe run them down her arm and then maybe even further—so she steps back and turns to walk away before she acts on any impulses. Especially with Molly very intendedly watching from the window. Hope accomplished what she came her for and she’s honestly pretty proud of herself; she has a strange passing thought that Gigi would be too.

“Um,” Amy calls out and Hope turns around to face her, now a safe distance away, “Well if you ever end up in Botswana...you’d have a couch to crash on.” 

Hope, realizing that Amy wants to see her over the summer and genuinely wants to see her again even after the Disaster™️, smiles. “Okay.” She turns back around to continue walking, not wanting Amy to see just yet how giddy that makes her.

“Well, technically it won’t be my couch, cause I’ll be staying with a family, but I’m sure they’ll be cool with it.” Hope laughs and throws her hand over her shoulder in a wave as she walks, giving Amy one last look.

“Okay.” She brings her hand up to her face rubbing at her cheeks, still stuck in a small smile, and let’s her hand run along the flowers of the bushes at the end of Amy’s drive way as she turns the corner. If Hope was someone who squeals, she would definitely be squealing right now. She lets out a breathy laugh and runs her hand through her hair; which is as close to squealing as Hope gets. 

She continues on toward home; she has a whole backpacking trip to plan around one destination: Botswana. She feels her phone vibrate in her pocket and immediately reaches into her pocket, excited at the possibility of Amy already texting her. Her excitement fades as she sees Gigi’s name on the screen.

She opens the text, curious. 

_ Told you so. Also, remember. No Rio Grande. _

Hope quickly lifts her head and looks around, seeing no one. “What the fuck, Gigi!?”


End file.
